soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
