i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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