my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
