It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
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I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
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People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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