Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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