its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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