I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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