Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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