Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
