I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
