There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize