why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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