Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
