I can text with my tongue
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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