she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
