I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?