bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
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Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
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You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed