so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
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And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
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Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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