the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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