he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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