Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
