I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
i need some magic done to my vagina
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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