girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize