you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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