Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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