"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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