in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
