Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case

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  (619): I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case http://tfl.nu/xr3i
  Replies (17) Good night (4634) Bad night (667)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed

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  (617): i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed http://tfl.nu/c1fn
  Replies (7) Good night (4732) Bad night (1026)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat

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  (214): I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat http://tfl.nu/a753
  Replies (18) Good night (5492) Bad night (2881)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.

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  (321): I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident. http://tfl.nu/j6a8
  Replies (6) Good night (4619) Bad night (1059)
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  (212): View more from New York

  we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy

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  (212): we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy http://tfl.nu/2r3y
  Replies (6) Good night (3014) Bad night (1858)
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  (209): View more from California

  I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.

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  (209): I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that. http://tfl.nu/8ygm
  Replies (3) Good night (2510) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.

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  (254): Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick. http://tfl.nu/p5hu
  Replies (22) Good night (3858) Bad night (1335)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.

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  (206): You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship. http://tfl.nu/k0v9
  Replies (3) Good night (701) Bad night (1117)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..

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  (201): The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in.. http://tfl.nu/ctm0
  Replies (5) Good night (1332) Bad night (651)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.

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  (772): Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid. http://tfl.nu/hte9
  Replies (9) Good night (639) Bad night (2052)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator

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  (513): I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator http://tfl.nu/52sx
  Replies (7) Good night (842) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.

  (1-585): View more from New York

  I regret none of it.

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  (585): I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house. (1-585): I regret none of it. http://tfl.nu/t45o
  Replies (8) Good night (1262) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?

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  (505): Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it? http://tfl.nu/czl6
  Replies (2) Good night (384) Bad night (956)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.

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  (801): I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet. http://tfl.nu/dc53
  Replies (1) Good night (521) Bad night (223)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.

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  (732): I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called. http://tfl.nu/2byi
  Replies (0) Good night (461) Bad night (147)

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