Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?