Texts From Last Night

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  (+93): View more from

  dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this

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  (+93): dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this http://tfl.nu/ft70
  Replies (13) Good night (849) Bad night (1864)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.

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  (816): I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life. http://tfl.nu/o7kz
  Replies (14) Good night (4768) Bad night (740)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.

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  (330): if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would. http://tfl.nu/x08w
  Replies (16) Good night (4147) Bad night (1328)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick

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  (785): whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick http://tfl.nu/3xlh
  Replies (64) Good night (7840) Bad night (1959)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.

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  (239): Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread. http://tfl.nu/62jg
  Replies (18) Good night (8015) Bad night (1112)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.

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  (712): i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat. http://tfl.nu/sn6a
  Replies (5) Good night (3864) Bad night (1097)
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  (562): View more from California

  at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.

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  (562): at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all. http://tfl.nu/8vyn
  Replies (6) Good night (951) Bad night (2896)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.

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  (513): Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause. http://tfl.nu/kkfj
  Replies (8) Good night (3577) Bad night (988)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?

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  (214): could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea? http://tfl.nu/4zul
  Replies (11) Good night (1011) Bad night (2586)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.

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  (419): You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you. http://tfl.nu/qq0g
  Replies (15) Good night (2622) Bad night (1358)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis

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  (850): It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis http://tfl.nu/b0bh
  Replies (3) Good night (1484) Bad night (589)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.

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  (703): I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree. http://tfl.nu/r6v0
  Replies (0) Good night (534) Bad night (336)
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  (909): View more from California

  Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught

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  (909): Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught http://tfl.nu/ohgq
  Replies (9) Good night (961) Bad night (372)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering

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  (618): Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering http://tfl.nu/gyh2
  Replies (4) Good night (648) Bad night (373)
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  (707): View more from California

  I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?

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  (707): I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right? http://tfl.nu/gf0b
  Replies (0) Good night (398) Bad night (503)

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