just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.