I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize