So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
