if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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