How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
