Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
