This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
