His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize