I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
