me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
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btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
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Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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