Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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