No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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