Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Too much gin, very little bucket
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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