what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
