After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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