Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples