we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that