I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Ladies don't puke and tell
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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