Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
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So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
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Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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