I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I did not marry a roomba.
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