what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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