I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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