so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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