i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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