Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny