His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
she pinky promised me she was 18
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.