physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!