I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.