thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.